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Showing posts with label dealing infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dealing infidelity. Show all posts

Sunday, November 4, 2012

How To Surviving Marriage Infidelity - Gut Check Time


How To Surviving Marriage Infidelity - Gut Check Time

Hello guys,

Are you asking yourself how to surviving marriage infidelity? Infidelity in a marriage can be tough. It's not easy to deal with. There are a lot of factors coming into dealing with infidelity in a marriage. One wrong step though, and it's all over.

Let's face facts, not all marriages should be saved.  Sometimes the two partner's just aren't compatible and just can't make things work. At other times there are real issues such as  marriage infidelity, which can be virtually impossible to move past.

If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.

Here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.

If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.

2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse (anymore).

Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.

3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.

On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is. Ask yourself this question, would you trust someone again if they breach your trust the first time?

Also, the person who strayed has to own it, period. Now is not the time to blame your spouse and use the classic line: "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me".  B.S. You are every bit as guilty, maybe more so, in the failing of your marriage as your spouse. Don't blame your weakness and the fact that you cheated on your partner. You did it, period. Own it and you'll be a better person for it.

 Marriage infidelity can be gotten past, but only if the two of you are willing to try, and try hard. Good luck.

These are some of the steps you and your partner can take on how to surviving marriage infidelity. I recommend that you download the book,"Magic of Making Up" by T.W. Jackson. His book have help many couples around the world get back together and mend their broken relationship. Read through it before you do anything else that might jeopardize your chance of getting back together with your partner.

Click here to download Magic of Making Up.

To your relationship success.

P.S. How to surviving marriage infidelity? Read through Magic of Making Up right now before you do anything else. Click here to download Magic of Making Up!



Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Relationship Advice - Emotional Infidelity What It Is And How To Recognize It

Relationship Advice - Emotional Infidelity What It Is And How To Recognize It

Hey guys,

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating in its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

Emotional infidelity is when your significant other begins to form those same kinds of bonds with another person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship.

You go from being your significant other's friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and may be hard to see. You may feel that the problem is on your end and that you are the one doing something wrong.

At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect emotional infidelity. Everybody has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends. Many people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they confide much of their lives.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distance or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages an fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out and advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship. If you would like to read more on this subject matter then I suggest you download and read through "Magic of Making Up" by T.W. Jackson.

Click here to download Magic of Making Up.

To your relationship success.

P.S. Having relationship problems? Save your relationship and marriage. To learn more get your Magic of Making Up Today. Click here to download Magic of Making Up!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Dealing With Infidelity In a Marriage - Is Your Marriage Over?

Dealing With Infidelity In a Marriage - Is Your Marriage Over?

Hello guys,

Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is an event that no woman ever want to meet. Yet, if you are reading this, either it has occurred or you are concerned that it may be. If infidelity has in fact occurred, you may be wondering whether it means your marriage is over.

It is quite common for you to be wondering about that very thing. If you have been married for some time, then naturally both of you have experienced so much together and have some things in common. You probably had children together, endured financial ups and downs together, and so much more.

The thought of loosing your marriage, due to a deal could be a very difficult pill to swallow. And just coping with the fact that your husband has had an affair is one of the most difficult emotional experiences a woman can go through.

To answer the question whether your marriage is over, let's look at some key points.

Only You Can Decide if Your Marriage is Over

It is natural for a woman, and society often would agree, to have the reaction to immediately want to storm out of the relationship as soon as an affair has been uncovered. But this is not always the best answer when it comes to infidelity in a marriage.

In fact, it is often recommended by experts that you don't react this way. Assuming that your spouse has already filed for divorce and moved, you should at least try to repair your relationship and try to save the marriage before deciding to go ahead with the divorce.

Most women will talk to their friends and/or family members about the infidelity and ask them for their opinions on what they feel they should do. Even if you trust them, be very careful about the advice you receive.

Those closest to you may advise you to immediately run for the hills and leave him. It's just their defense mechanisms that occurred in an attempt to protect you from further pain. They truly do care for you and have the best intentions, but only you know the exact details of your marriage.

In the end, you are finally the one who makes the decision to stay or to go. You are the one who has to look yourself in the mirror every morning for the rest of your life and live with what choice you make.

I will not lie to you, it is one of the toughest decisions you may encounter in the course of your life. But understand this before reading on. Dealing with infidelity in marriage does not mean that marriage is necessarily over.

How to Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go

There are a huge number of factors that go into deciding whether or not to leave your marriage or stay in it. We do not cover them all here.

However, let's explore a few ideas and questions to ask yourself that may help you in your consideration.

Is your husband really willing to work to repair the damage caused by the incident?

The answer to this question is crucial because of the expense, and will be crucial to decide whether you want to end your marriage.

Some factors you need to consider are:

  • Whether or not he has indeed ended the affair
  • Has he given a heartfelt apology
  • Has he begun seeking out resources and ways to help repair and reconcile your marriage
  • Do you feel like he is being totally transparent regarding the affair, and is he willing to talk openly about the issues that exist in your marriage that may have led him to have an affair in the first place.
  • You should also ask whether he would be willing to stay in the marriage, and in fact the problems are corrected and improved.
  • Is the emotional price you will need to pay to stay really worth it to you?
  • What kind of changes would you like to see in your spouse and would he really be willing to change?

Answers to these questions should help you think through some (certainly not all) of the important issues you need to consider when deciding whether or not to stay in your marriage.

Whatever the outcome, one thing is certain: you are the definitely the only person who can make that choice.

Your marriage doesn't have to be over. There is no law that relationships end, when it comes to infidelity in marriage. In fact, there are many, many cases where marriages became stronger than ever after an affair.

There's definitely more to it in dealing with infidelity in a marriage and if you're at a lost on what to do and need more details in dealing with infidelity and affair in marriage then check out Magic of Making Up eBook.

Click here to download now.

To your relationship success.

P.S. Download Magic of Making Up eBook and read through it on how to deal with infidelity in marriage and also how to improve your relationship - Click here to get it now!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage - Marriage Advices

3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage - Marriage Advices

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live 'happily ever after'. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood's long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has 'fallen out of love'?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say "I do," we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don't get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Some say if we don't make mistakes we don't really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That's why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let's call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I'm talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don't make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater   contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It's okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don't always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn't make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it's up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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