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Showing posts with label marriage saved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage saved. Show all posts

Friday, April 22, 2011

Having Relationship Problems? Understanding Your Troubled Relationship-Can Save It

Having Relationship Problems? Understanding Your Troubled Relationship-Can Save It

Hey guys,

You are in a relationship and you are finding things quite confusing. You could be feeling like the relationship has run its course, or that you are not being honest with yourself. You are merely pretending to be happy, or maybe you are afraid over what the next step will be. Don't worry, you are not alone in feeling all this. We all go through it one way or another.

These signs of a troubled relationship can plague the person and put strain on a possibly damaged relationship. One of the more common feelings is guilt over lying and hiding ones true feelings over the relationship and its status. The fact of the matter is, you need to confront the truth head on and try to find a solution for the problem relationship - together.

There was a great deal of love in the relationship, but now there are a lot of mixed feelings and factors that are contributing to the mixed feelings that one is feeling. When you have begun to consider your troubled relationship, it is important to brainstorm what sort of things that you want and what you do not want in your relationship right now.

The latter can include not wanting to be cheated on, abused, and ignored and so on. When it comes to items that you want to have happen, these can include wanting to grow and develop emotionally. One can want for excitement and romance in the relationship. Sometimes one wants intellectual and spiritual stimulation, including discussions and attending outside meetings and events.

Once you have a list of your wants and desires, you need to go through them and identify those which you truly want and do not want. You need to figure out what sort of situation you are in and whether or not it will continue on its track. Observe your partner and try and figure out if they are capable of growth and doing their part to help turn your troubled relationship around.

They need to be able to contribute to the repair of the relationship and move it forward. If things are truly bad, then you need to step back and see things with a clear head. This may simply involve separating temporarily, so that you and your partner can take the time alone to evaluate the situation without distraction. Sometime, what a relationship just need is a 'time-out' for the both of you.

Without having to live together and deal with all of the stresses of being together, both of you will have a clearer head which will provide the basis for a true evaluation of the situation. What you may find is that the relationship is such that you two cannot be together and that you need to end the relationship. It might be a drastic decision that you need to make.

Some relationships are not meant to be, and that should not discourage you. There will be someone for you. If you do find that you and your significant other are capable of making things work in your troubled relationship, then make sure that you and your partner are open and communicative. Without communication, it will be more difficult.

A troubled relationship does not necessarily mean that the end is near. What it does mean is that you and your partner need to take the steps to work things out and move the relationship forward, whether that is towards its end or continuation. The important thing is that the both of you work it out in a calm and mature situation instead of quarrellings and shouting at each in the middle of the night.

If you are having relationship problems and are at a lost on what to do then I recommend that you download and read through Magic Of Making Up. The book is authored by T.W. Jackson and he has helped couples in 77+ countries resolved their relationship problems.


To your relationship success.

P.S. Having relationship problems? Need help in re-igniting the fire in your relationship? Then look no further. Download and read through Magic of Making Up. Click here to download Magic Of Making Up!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Marriage Saved - How to get your spouse to love you again

Marriage Saved - How to get your spouse to love you again



Author - Andrew Rusbatch

If your spouse says “I have fallen out of love with you,” don’t panic. You can take charge of the situation and even begin to rekindle your relationship.

You have to start by understanding. It’s very easy for us to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actual loving when it is not really the case. After the initial thrill of romance is gone, couples often find themselves lost and confused. What they don’t realize is that love is not just this heady feeling that carries us away. That feeling has a shelf life. When the prospect of spending years together sets in, the correct question to ask one’s self would be “How now do I love without the initial thrill?”

We have to discover that every relationship has stages:

- falling in love,
- the honeymoon stage,
- chaos or disillusionment,
- then mature love or resolution.

We are very quick to judge that we no longer love someone just because the feelings fade. With proper understanding, we can expect that even if the feeling may not be there, it doesn’t mean we don’t love.

In truth, love is a commitment. It is not just a feeling, it is a doing. A mature person loves by choice and not simply by circumstance.

The next step would be to manage your partner’s feelings or lack thereof by starting with dialogue. Talk about the feelings and find out what happened, where is it coming from? There are numerous tools and methods available for a couple – together or with a counselor/mediator – that would help them examine their present situation. Talk to your spouse and tell him or her that the relationship deserves at the very least, dialogue.

In dialogue, let your spouse talk and you listen. There may be important things you need to learn about your spouse and your marriage. On the other hand, you can also share your own feelings about what is happening. Try not to place blame on your spouse, however, but share your thoughts and feelings by using “I feel…” statements.

In the meantime, do some self-improvement. It is never too late to evolve into a happier, more mature and more lovable person --- even if it’s just something you do for yourself. For all you know, this new you will be more attractive to your spouse and come as a surprise to him or her.

Finally, don’t stop reinforcing your presence in the marriage. Do some positive loving acts for your spouse – without expecting anything in return. These mirror your mature, positive view of what love really is. Make these acts little things. They don’t have to be grand gestures. It’s the everyday things that actually build trust, intimacy and love between couples.

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Monday, March 14, 2011

Dealing With Infidelity In a Marriage - Is Your Marriage Over?

Dealing With Infidelity In a Marriage - Is Your Marriage Over?

Hello guys,

Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is an event that no woman ever want to meet. Yet, if you are reading this, either it has occurred or you are concerned that it may be. If infidelity has in fact occurred, you may be wondering whether it means your marriage is over.

It is quite common for you to be wondering about that very thing. If you have been married for some time, then naturally both of you have experienced so much together and have some things in common. You probably had children together, endured financial ups and downs together, and so much more.

The thought of loosing your marriage, due to a deal could be a very difficult pill to swallow. And just coping with the fact that your husband has had an affair is one of the most difficult emotional experiences a woman can go through.

To answer the question whether your marriage is over, let's look at some key points.

Only You Can Decide if Your Marriage is Over

It is natural for a woman, and society often would agree, to have the reaction to immediately want to storm out of the relationship as soon as an affair has been uncovered. But this is not always the best answer when it comes to infidelity in a marriage.

In fact, it is often recommended by experts that you don't react this way. Assuming that your spouse has already filed for divorce and moved, you should at least try to repair your relationship and try to save the marriage before deciding to go ahead with the divorce.

Most women will talk to their friends and/or family members about the infidelity and ask them for their opinions on what they feel they should do. Even if you trust them, be very careful about the advice you receive.

Those closest to you may advise you to immediately run for the hills and leave him. It's just their defense mechanisms that occurred in an attempt to protect you from further pain. They truly do care for you and have the best intentions, but only you know the exact details of your marriage.

In the end, you are finally the one who makes the decision to stay or to go. You are the one who has to look yourself in the mirror every morning for the rest of your life and live with what choice you make.

I will not lie to you, it is one of the toughest decisions you may encounter in the course of your life. But understand this before reading on. Dealing with infidelity in marriage does not mean that marriage is necessarily over.

How to Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go

There are a huge number of factors that go into deciding whether or not to leave your marriage or stay in it. We do not cover them all here.

However, let's explore a few ideas and questions to ask yourself that may help you in your consideration.

Is your husband really willing to work to repair the damage caused by the incident?

The answer to this question is crucial because of the expense, and will be crucial to decide whether you want to end your marriage.

Some factors you need to consider are:

  • Whether or not he has indeed ended the affair
  • Has he given a heartfelt apology
  • Has he begun seeking out resources and ways to help repair and reconcile your marriage
  • Do you feel like he is being totally transparent regarding the affair, and is he willing to talk openly about the issues that exist in your marriage that may have led him to have an affair in the first place.
  • You should also ask whether he would be willing to stay in the marriage, and in fact the problems are corrected and improved.
  • Is the emotional price you will need to pay to stay really worth it to you?
  • What kind of changes would you like to see in your spouse and would he really be willing to change?

Answers to these questions should help you think through some (certainly not all) of the important issues you need to consider when deciding whether or not to stay in your marriage.

Whatever the outcome, one thing is certain: you are the definitely the only person who can make that choice.

Your marriage doesn't have to be over. There is no law that relationships end, when it comes to infidelity in marriage. In fact, there are many, many cases where marriages became stronger than ever after an affair.

There's definitely more to it in dealing with infidelity in a marriage and if you're at a lost on what to do and need more details in dealing with infidelity and affair in marriage then check out Magic of Making Up eBook.

Click here to download now.

To your relationship success.

P.S. Download Magic of Making Up eBook and read through it on how to deal with infidelity in marriage and also how to improve your relationship - Click here to get it now!