Showing posts with label marriage problem advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage problem advice. Show all posts
Sunday, August 5, 2012
To Save My Marriage Help Me Please
To Save My Marriage Help Me Please
Hey guys,
Are you asking yourself, "Is it possible to save my marriage?" If you're in what feels like a loveless marriage or you're already at the point of separation and/or divorce, you may very well be asking yourself this question. Often times, only one person in the marriage is thinking this question. The other either doesn't even realize there is something wrong, or just wants out altogether. If you are thinking that you need to start working on your marriage because it feels like it's in a downward plunge, or you want to get your marriage back, then here are a few quick tips you can use.
Take A Step Back
The first step in order to be able to answer your question of "Will I be able to save my marriage?", is to take a step back from it. Try to analyze your situation objectively, without all the emotions. This is hard, and it is probably harder if you are still in the marriage but do the best you can. Write things down. Try to figure out turning points, mistakes, what went wrong, and how you could have possibly avoided it. If you have already split with your husband or wife, minimize contact as much as possible so that you can have the time to get a more objective perspective. This is not about blaming, but rather about assessing the situation so try to do this without placing blame on yourself or on your spouse. When you are doing this, try to pick out the real reasons for problems, not the symptoms. For example, if one of you cheated, that is not really the problem, but the result of an underlying problem, or several of them. Of course, that just adds to all the problems because a relationship is based on trust, and cheating really violates that. But there were other issues that lead to the cheating as well. You may also want to see a counselor or therapist who can help you determine some of the problems and give you an unbiased viewpoint.
Time For Action
After the "assessment phase" comes the time for action. This is where you should speak to your spouse about what you've been analyzing. This is most likely not going to be fun so gear up for some opposition and prepare to be strong. You of course want to listen what he or she has to say, but make sure that your voice is heard too. Also be prepared to change your mind if your spouse brings up something that you hadn't realized or thought of. This is not particularly enjoyable, but at least you are communicating. And communication is the key to all relationships, whether it be marriage, friendship, work, etc. Continue to communicate. If it seems that you are continuously butting heads over every little point, and neither of you is willing to listen or give in, then the answer to the question of "Is it possible to save my marriage" might be no. But if you see even a little bit of progress, hold on to that and make it work.
Definitely, there's a lot more you can or need to do but this few quick tips can help the ball-a-rolling. I recommend that you download the book by T.W. Jackson "Magic of Making Up" before you do anything else as it's full of tips that you can learn and use to save your marriage. His book have help many couples in 75 countries get back together and you can also read more testimonials at his main site. Get your copy today!
Click here to download Magic of Making Up.
To your relationship success.
P.S. STOP! Are you asking yourself how to save my marriage? Then get your copy Magic of Making Up today. Click here to download Magic of Making Up!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Marriage Problem Advice - Help Save Marriage My SOS Cry
Marriage Problem Advice - Help Save Marriage My SOS Cry
Hey guys,
“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven't figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren't ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice.
You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for your marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren't so complicated. Have you heard of the saying "Keep it simple stupid?" also known as K.I.S.S ?
Sacrifice:
Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren't making matters worse.
Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, then the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1.
You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.
Open Up:
There is a tendency that many people like to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn't healthy for any individual and it especially isn't healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.
There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save your marriage.
Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.
Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.
Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much? Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save your marriage.
These are some of the things to look out for in trying to save a marriage and if you want more in-depth read then I suggest you download and read through Magic of Making Up. It is in an eBook form authored by T.W. Jackson and his methods have help many couples resolve their marriage problems. Get your copy Today!
Click here to download Magic of Making Up.
To your relationship success.
P.S. If you're in need of marriage problem advice and help save marriage then get your copy Magic of Making Up. Click here to download Magic of Making Up!
Hey guys,
“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven't figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren't ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice.
You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for your marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren't so complicated. Have you heard of the saying "Keep it simple stupid?" also known as K.I.S.S ?
Sacrifice:
Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren't making matters worse.
Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, then the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1.
You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.
Open Up:
There is a tendency that many people like to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn't healthy for any individual and it especially isn't healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.
There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save your marriage.
Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.
Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.
Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much? Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save your marriage.
These are some of the things to look out for in trying to save a marriage and if you want more in-depth read then I suggest you download and read through Magic of Making Up. It is in an eBook form authored by T.W. Jackson and his methods have help many couples resolve their marriage problems. Get your copy Today!
Click here to download Magic of Making Up.
To your relationship success.
P.S. If you're in need of marriage problem advice and help save marriage then get your copy Magic of Making Up. Click here to download Magic of Making Up!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Save My Marriage Today - Marriage Problem Advice
Save My Marriage Today - Marriage Problem Advice
Communication breakdown
It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.
This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.
Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"
I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.
I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.
So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.
Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.
When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.
We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.
A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…
*************************************************
This article is brought to you by Save My Marriage Today.
You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today course has helped save thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver results or your money back.
You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results ... guaranteed.
You have to click here and get my course.
Because your marriage deserves better!
**************************************************
Communication breakdown
It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.
This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. My partner told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I lashed back in defense. It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of aftershave. But to me, it represented something much deeper, that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don’t know the first place to begin searching.
Aftershave, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my partner when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"
I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.
I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night" was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.
So where to from here? My partner felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, whereas I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. It was never about me trying to make him feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.
Communication, communication, communication. I need for my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. It is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.
When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.
We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.
A good lesson to learn, even for the experts…
*************************************************
This article is brought to you by Save My Marriage Today.
You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today course has helped save thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver results or your money back.
You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results ... guaranteed.
You have to click here and get my course.
Because your marriage deserves better!
**************************************************
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